Swinging on the edge of a windblown cliff of change ~
Smelling the sweet scent of a brand new honeysuckle and ginger bud~
Eager to push forward and into the subtle, yet, transluscent ivory of other, leaving ~
pushing, the blue moon shadows behind ~
Sorrow and disappointment still follow and pull me,
yet I am working on staying one step ahead...
reaching for the golden honey sunbeam that I see so clearly today ~

Life experiences flow through me, always moving and changing the present...And I embrace the present for it will be just a piece of history with the blink of an eye...No time to dwell on the negetive...Life is just too precious...I will find my wings, groom them and nuture them...so that they are ready for flight when the negetive is present for too long...To fly is to be alive...and free!To dwell in negetive surroundings is to limit the joy life has to offer!!!

In search of wings

You said...that you were seeking your wings...

and my spirit connected to you in a deep and authentic way...

I see you ... not with my eyes, but with my soul aura...

and, I feel that I know you...

Maybe it is because I know so intrinsically and personally what is means to be seeking...Wings ~

for I have been seeking mine for a long time ~

I connect with your yearning ~

your creativity~

and I deeply value your soul's fortitude and strength!

and on another reality plain, I see you with your wings!!!! I know you with your wings!!!!

My dear, sweet friend...they are already there!!!!

I am tired...so tired of...well...giving too much of myself...it's my fault, I take full responsibility... but now I am just plain tired...

Eyes heavy now, darkness blankets my city as it has done for too long ~ everywhere within my sight it is dark and difficult to see too far beyond ~ Yet I sense sweet lavendar and honeysuckel just beyond ~ sacredly carressing my aura ~ Ah such a tempting tease...it is a solid option ~ that has always been there, yet I closed my own pathway to this beautiful place ~ I sacrifice my true happiness too easilyThe floral scent is so very beautiful and crisp to my raw and somewhat numb senses!This sweet perspective ~ is incredibly refreshing and noticeably quite absent from my life! I had been oblivious to what I have been missing from my life...It is alluring me more now and with a keen intention of firm persuation...yet, soft with the pure essence of it's simplicity and completeness...I long to reach through the nightness...The urge to free myself is stronger now..I find incredible strength in my will, now...I will push the thick shadows of my choices away from me...I prepare myself for the intrinsic resistance these choices I made will give me...They repel and stick to me! I peel and dig my way out from these patterns...Needing to breathe, my spirit flutters in it's trapped cage lost within my body... I will dig, scrape, push and run to get out...Running now I am filled with deep passion ~ longing for peaceful sunlight~ reaching and breathing harder...I welcome a cool breeze as it calms my gait, my transitional process...imbuing my spirit with the permeation of encouragement! I continue breaking away ~And...I can feel the warm sunbeams upon me ~ and I am beginning to feel my spirit again...I am in Nepantla ~ running, and surging to cross to my next life chapter ~

Speak softly yet with intention for now is the time to truly take the moment and be steadfast in your belief~

She whispered these words to herself, over and over...as a desperate attempt to...to be...to speak what she had akways wanted to speak...her truths..

And now, in the frailty of her physical state...realizing she had not taken a firm grip on the life around her, realizing that the life around her is what she drew to her...

It...her life...had slipped away and now there was nothing she could do but proclaim her misfortune as she feably sank into a disappearing member of her reality...

Tears rolling down her dirty face, her subconscious bringing family members close to her heart, the memories, the love, the hopes and dreams;

Now fading, fading in it's exhaustive state of.. the end of her here and now...

She asks herself...

And for what did she accomplish in this life?

And for what did she take a stand for in this life?

And for what did her life make a difference in the world?

Now...that she was fading, fading quietly without notice from the others... they walk by in a flurry...not noticing, caring or interested in who this small frail fading person is...as she lay on the side of the street, sitting on dirty tattered cardboard..crouched in a ball with her small skinny body curled under...her hair, gray and windblown about her small dark and distordedly sad and weathered face...

Ah, she was beyond sad, beaten down by the harshness she endured...But now, in the face of death, she was determined to speak, to be heard, to be...her truth!!! Here and now was her last and only chance...to speak her truths, her wisdom...at this ending place of her life on earth!

her spirit churned within her tired and sick body...begging her to make a difference NOW! She went deep into her soul...as it was calling, calling to her....to speak! The words came in whispers first, strong and meangful words filled with integrity and depth of human compassion... after some time the words came out with with vigor and intensity!

She put the sentences together with the help of her inner longing integrity, so buried with self denial...yet so eager to come out...She spoke and she wrote with complete investment and commitment, her truths, her mistakes, her wishes....her whispers turned into shouts, taking every last bit of energy from her yet filling her with more...just enough to complete her lifelong 'secret" proclaimations...her personal wisdom...

Slowly but methodically, the others who usually walked by her, turned, listened and saw her...Valued Her!!!!! They heard her voice speaking from her heart and from true caring and love!

She truly did have something to say that was of great importance...and she let it out ... releasing her from her painful constraint of empty closure, sadness and pain...Now, filled with energy, enthusiasm...and joyful realese of her human spiritual wisdom...she knew that now...

Now it was time to let nature take her...it was her time...now, to let go...be gone and dissappear from this reality...

As she took her last breath...she felt completely at peace...she had finally taken the moment and held it and stated her truths...loudly, clearly and with confidence...her life experience was important...this was something she had never ever thought until today, the day of her death...

Drifting at peace now amongst other souls...in the other dimensions...She floated.....away, with the spiritual knowledge that her life mattered because she believed...which in turn made others believe and...listen...

In the morning light of dawn all is precious and new ~

All is fresh and simple ~

The quiet of the silloetted clouds in the mystical light of this time boldly yet softly enters the vulnerable psyche ~

Balancing this moment and the chaos of love, life and death is welcomed...

Transforming the coarse edges in life to fluid movements that all make sense now...

ahhhh ... the ability to breathe and settle into the magic of dawn is incredible ~

Silent whispers echo in the white parts of the wind ~ Warmly ~ softly ~ the breezy weeping willow tree embraces the depths of those who connect...in truth and in passion... imprinting simple ripples of intertwinded time ~ Energy so pure it lasts forever ~

Sitting ~ awake ~ unsettled...she gazes into the deep white of the moom ~

Secretly asking for an answer ~ a pathway ~

Lost ~ alone within her sorrow ~

She breaths in the cool night air ~

Seeking a new breath ~ leaves of confusion tumble upon her feet making it difficult to move ~ to breath ~

Gasping for simplicity she chokes on her own thoughts ~ bitter and coarse they stick in her throat ~

Where did these leaves come from? Remnants of her choices...they increase as she allows her memory to emerge ~

Overwhelmed with reality she bursts ~ throwing her arms up and reaching desperate now ~

Pleading for her moon to rise ~ to take her hands and guide them ~ up up and far away from herself ~

She cries in hope that she can find her moon ~ her savior ~ her solice ~ her power ~

Broken, she lies silent upon the cold cement waiting for the strength to face tomorrow ~

If I could reach into your soul

If I could reach into your soul ...

I would touch your heart with my spirit~

leaving a sweet glowing surge of love, compassion and caring~

Windcapped sea flows through and around me as I am submerged in the icy water~

Sometimes when I feel this ~ I panic!

Yet today I will let the chill embrace me so that I may

move through it~

Moving, drifting, floating ~~~

Forward ~ Beyond...

I can see~now ~

There is a golden warmth awaiting,

It's like a beam of sunlight just tingling atop the mountain range

A twist of wind swirls through the trees of my memory~

I have been here before!

I remember the beauty and hesitation of moving into the unknown~

My soul warms at the uncalculating place I am in ..

not gauging, pre-thinking...

Unsteady is my step as I navigate in this new terrain,

Yet the longer I remain on this course, my Vision becomes clearer

and my breath increases ~ ~ ~

Kaia Rae Teal~

Her Spirit speaks softly to mine ~

Opening my mind's eye to a world of pureness ~

Gentle whispers permeate my skin ~ my pores ~

infusing a sweet melody within my very core ~

My heart opens to her ~ longs for her and wishes for her all that is good and right ~

A new soul is she ~ yet within her youth is a deep wise and old spirit ~

Gusts of wind surround her in a magic embrace ~ holding her tightly ~

She is and always will be held ~ by forces of nature ~

for she is truly a unique spirit that has uplifted and forever altered my consciousness ~

She is my little one ~

She speaks softly into the wind,

investing her full heart,

she commits herself to trust...
Creating a truth unfit for today...

Unwarranted and undeserving,

she offers her vulnerability...

Her truth so real it is uncomfortable if one is not prepared...

No secrets.

No lies.
Just pure and simple... Truth.
How is this so difficult for some?
Soul seeking truth... honesty.... integrity!

Gypsy eyes wander the cityscape...music and dancing in her heart~

moving just above the cement...not quite touching it...with her senses~ She glides with a distant ease and centered way yet ~

Wild like a wolf running through the rain~Strong, beautiful, sternly aggressive and most importantly wild at heart!!!!

Gypsy girl~wild wolf girl~navigates through her life with fierce intention of passionate dream fulfilling!

Never getting captured ~ cornered or constraigned ~

Wildly Free! Full of passion, love and abandonment!!!!

___________________________

Sunshine warms my forehead with the essence of truth...

I tried...and tried....and found myself lost in self - denial...

Is it me? Am I just not seeing it correctly?

Then, with much time and through many trials of anguish...of giving up and then starting again...I know now. I really really know... The Truth!

How sadly liberating and painfully freeing...the truth hurts deeply...but at last it has a resolve.

__________________________

Weeping Willow tree comforts my fall as I watch it's long beautiful limbs breezing so gracefully in the wind...

Tears slide rapidly down my cheek gathering within my heart...and I am full of the weight of this water...Thick and cumbersome...Bold and intrusive within my being...

Seeking to find my gypsy heart

Reaching ~ Searching ~ Seeking

THE TRUTH

I find myself alive in the moment, raw, unsettled and sometimes disturbed...when I lose sight of seeking, finding and living my truth!My truth has gotten muddled and murky at recent...distance and I find I am unsettled and unfulfilled inside ~What is raw and coarse upon my spirit is where and what have choosen...I blame myself with letting others define me ... even control me ~ and it when I do this that I lose my internal wisdom...pathway!Resulting in shattered thoughts...of internal integrity...My life choices and personal perception must return to my alignment of my gypsy heart ~ This has always lived within me ~ Consumed me~with wild abandonment and freedom with the deepest urge to not be controlled or have my wings clipped...Each person has thier own personal needs to realize in each of their many lives...shall we call it ...Following your spirit's life wisdom? It is this wisdom that...if not identified and followed ~ will pull and burden one's soul and leave one unfullfilled and unhappy when their life comes to an end... My wisdom is peaking when it is rebelious..against the normal societal control of mundanity ...I fell trapped ~ locked and I can't breathe... Oh, I can do it for a while ~ even for a few years but then my spirit aches with lack of oxygen, movement...lack of LIFE!!!...The gypsy wells up inside and I must break away!!!!I seek out the path less troden the path most will opt against!!!It is here where I feel most alive ~ It is here that I can create newness of vision and perception...hoping to be visible to opening of other's thought processes...of new and creative ways of seeing and being in the world...the possibilities are endless...when we take down the walls of constraint!Gypsy bells ring within my heart...at all hours ofr the night ~making for my integration into the "normal" society" difficult...yet undeniable...With a gyspsy heart, comes a harsh and fervent current that I must swim up against...it takes great strength...and fortitude to face ... the current of other people's thoughts, judgements and analysis if me and my life choices ~ yet...it is my calling...I cannot deny my spirits wisdom seeking urge!!!it gives me strength and it opens doors for myself and I perceive...for others around me ~I continue reaching and seeking my truth ~My truth has taken me...away from what I am doing now...I am done with my "now"...I slowly shut the doors to my "now"...and as I close the doors...I can breath ~ and move ~ and spread my wings after so many years of experiencing them clipped and non-functional...Seeking, reaching and finding my truth with intense commitment ~

Compassion Heals

Compassion Heals ~

Whispering gently into my heart ~He touched my soul with his breath ~

Warm and comforting it flowed right through me and into my psyche ~

and found my once strong and passionate vision weary and beaten down ~

in desperate need of rest ~

I lay my shoulders, neck and chest upon his bare chest and shoulders,

with my head closely connected to his face ~

skin to skin, soul to soul ~

Closing my eyes and imagining I was being freed from the weight that had barred my vision from breath, life and growth ~

Vision has wings and can fly paramount as it realizes and actualizes it's dreams!

My wings were gone, torn off in a long and exhausting battle ~

So, I continue to stay upon his shoulders hoping to glean some of his strength ...

and when I fell asleep that night I was indeed lifted...into the sky ~

Carried away...far far away from my burdens ~

This is where I found my wings!

My lovely white silky wings...flowing and shimmering in the breeze ~

The Magic of the Full Moon in Twilight
Within the night's full moon ...I am taken on a journey ~ flying through the "outer"..."other" realm where my ancestors dwell ~ They have passed.. but are HERE~ within the beauty of the full moon's glowing light ~
It is almost morning, that beautiful twilight moment of magic ~where it's impossible to distinguish whether it's morning or evening..
Is the sun setting or rising?
I love this moment and find myself immersed within the not knowing ~
The inbetween of all ....it is where I can find my famly ~
My family who has passed into the next plane of reality..
because they live on ~their spirits live on and watch over me and my children...
Ah.... I LOVE the magic powers of the twilight moon!!!!!Starr

Quiet Love ~ Peaceful Love

Quiet love ~ Peaceful Love

...imprints shadows that move within me as the wind moves, shifts and changes ~

I feel it echo through blue and gold vibrations ~

Sometimes in rainbow gusts of beautiful shimmering connection~

Striving to keep this beauty ~ I compromise my individuality...my sense of what is real...

my internal knowledge that the TRUTH is not really there...

I look the other way...knowing the truth has not been told ~

Until, I can look away no longer ...

as the knowing of deception on me diminishes my integrity to myself ~

That beautiful rainbow swirling gust is so alluring!!!

Is it something that I created?Does it exist between the two of us..or...just me?

I will sail away in thought, deep and honest thought within myself...

that is where I will find my truth and my path ~Starr

Floating...

Weightless...

Numb...

I glide silently into the abyss of sadness...

My heart broken...

My dreams shattered...

Sinking Soul shadow overtakes my breath

Aimless...

Tired...

Letting the current take me...away....

A Kiss Has Changed Me!

a Kiss

has changed me

A truely heartfelt kiss is intrinsic to touching someone's soul...

Soul is a feeling ~ it is non-tangible ~

It is not easy to experience as it is buried within the flesh of the body and consumed within the reality of this human existance on this reality plane...

The soul traverses between many simultaneous realities...yet when we occupy this body, this life, this reality...

Soul is very hard to touch ~ to feel ~ to experience ~

A Kiss is an small but definite opening to touch another's soul...

It's just a peek...a brief encounter with the depths of Soul of another...

fostering an overwhelming internally warming!

To be in that moment of that kiss is to touch another's Soul!

My body warms with the intimacy...the beauty...the magic of the connection!!!

Within a kiss~The memory lingures...within my being ~ my Soul...and we are united...in the moment, in the memory and in the timelessness of our eternal spirits!

Starr 7/8/08

What happens in the silence?
calm glassy ocean mirror, seeps silently into my mind's eye...

drifting further into the depths of my heart...
silent
soundless
empty
and i am overwhelmed by the internal beauty of peace...

and after a few moments...

the internal progresses toward my external reality...
and the world becomes surreal~Am i stil "in" the world???
Or have i "drifted" to another world...?
I can still see everyone, and I can still see the earth, sky, forests and oceans...but, i am higher...it is all farther away~
and peace is getting stronger...


~Starrr Gazer~

Seeking Truth of Spirit and Soul in all of Life

Seeking ~ Truth of Spirit and Soul in all of life ~
How can it be that all of a sudden we find that time has past...so very very quickly!
It creeps up and silently passes...or is it that the world is actually going faster and faster?
Suddenly, there is still so much to do and so much to see and...
so many people to tell you love...
Remember to say "I Love You"...
'"I Love You" touches the deepset part of one's spirit ~
What a precious gift to give ~ Love!!!!____________________

I can breathe! I can see!

Midnight glow permeating through and amidst my solar plexus...like I am transparent...feels so good to be airy, freeing type of feeling..it's a permeation of letting go and joining the freedom of the wild...wolves, hungry yet peaceful, aggressive yet grounded to earth...

Breathing now...more freely, and deeply as I shed my burdens...

As I succumb...and, at first, hesitantly...

Now with vigor..I await, accept and allow what is drawing me...

to another land, another life...another world