I am tired...so tired of...well...giving too much of myself...it's my fault, I take full responsibility... but now I am just plain tired...

Eyes heavy now, darkness blankets my city as it has done for too long ~ everywhere within my sight it is dark and difficult to see too far beyond ~ Yet I sense sweet lavendar and honeysuckel just beyond ~ sacredly carressing my aura ~ Ah such a tempting tease...it is a solid option ~ that has always been there, yet I closed my own pathway to this beautiful place ~ I sacrifice my true happiness too easilyThe floral scent is so very beautiful and crisp to my raw and somewhat numb senses!This sweet perspective ~ is incredibly refreshing and noticeably quite absent from my life! I had been oblivious to what I have been missing from my life...It is alluring me more now and with a keen intention of firm persuation...yet, soft with the pure essence of it's simplicity and completeness...I long to reach through the nightness...The urge to free myself is stronger now..I find incredible strength in my will, now...I will push the thick shadows of my choices away from me...I prepare myself for the intrinsic resistance these choices I made will give me...They repel and stick to me! I peel and dig my way out from these patterns...Needing to breathe, my spirit flutters in it's trapped cage lost within my body... I will dig, scrape, push and run to get out...Running now I am filled with deep passion ~ longing for peaceful sunlight~ reaching and breathing harder...I welcome a cool breeze as it calms my gait, my transitional process...imbuing my spirit with the permeation of encouragement! I continue breaking away ~And...I can feel the warm sunbeams upon me ~ and I am beginning to feel my spirit again...I am in Nepantla ~ running, and surging to cross to my next life chapter ~

Speak softly yet with intention for now is the time to truly take the moment and be steadfast in your belief~

She whispered these words to herself, over and over...as a desperate attempt to...to be...to speak what she had akways wanted to speak...her truths..

And now, in the frailty of her physical state...realizing she had not taken a firm grip on the life around her, realizing that the life around her is what she drew to her...

It...her life...had slipped away and now there was nothing she could do but proclaim her misfortune as she feably sank into a disappearing member of her reality...

Tears rolling down her dirty face, her subconscious bringing family members close to her heart, the memories, the love, the hopes and dreams;

Now fading, fading in it's exhaustive state of.. the end of her here and now...

She asks herself...

And for what did she accomplish in this life?

And for what did she take a stand for in this life?

And for what did her life make a difference in the world?

Now...that she was fading, fading quietly without notice from the others... they walk by in a flurry...not noticing, caring or interested in who this small frail fading person is...as she lay on the side of the street, sitting on dirty tattered cardboard..crouched in a ball with her small skinny body curled under...her hair, gray and windblown about her small dark and distordedly sad and weathered face...

Ah, she was beyond sad, beaten down by the harshness she endured...But now, in the face of death, she was determined to speak, to be heard, to be...her truth!!! Here and now was her last and only chance...to speak her truths, her wisdom...at this ending place of her life on earth!

her spirit churned within her tired and sick body...begging her to make a difference NOW! She went deep into her soul...as it was calling, calling to her....to speak! The words came in whispers first, strong and meangful words filled with integrity and depth of human compassion... after some time the words came out with with vigor and intensity!

She put the sentences together with the help of her inner longing integrity, so buried with self denial...yet so eager to come out...She spoke and she wrote with complete investment and commitment, her truths, her mistakes, her wishes....her whispers turned into shouts, taking every last bit of energy from her yet filling her with more...just enough to complete her lifelong 'secret" proclaimations...her personal wisdom...

Slowly but methodically, the others who usually walked by her, turned, listened and saw her...Valued Her!!!!! They heard her voice speaking from her heart and from true caring and love!

She truly did have something to say that was of great importance...and she let it out ... releasing her from her painful constraint of empty closure, sadness and pain...Now, filled with energy, enthusiasm...and joyful realese of her human spiritual wisdom...she knew that now...

Now it was time to let nature take her...it was her time...now, to let go...be gone and dissappear from this reality...

As she took her last breath...she felt completely at peace...she had finally taken the moment and held it and stated her truths...loudly, clearly and with confidence...her life experience was important...this was something she had never ever thought until today, the day of her death...

Drifting at peace now amongst other souls...in the other dimensions...She floated.....away, with the spiritual knowledge that her life mattered because she believed...which in turn made others believe and...listen...

In the morning light of dawn all is precious and new ~

All is fresh and simple ~

The quiet of the silloetted clouds in the mystical light of this time boldly yet softly enters the vulnerable psyche ~

Balancing this moment and the chaos of love, life and death is welcomed...

Transforming the coarse edges in life to fluid movements that all make sense now...

ahhhh ... the ability to breathe and settle into the magic of dawn is incredible ~

Silent whispers echo in the white parts of the wind ~ Warmly ~ softly ~ the breezy weeping willow tree embraces the depths of those who connect...in truth and in passion... imprinting simple ripples of intertwinded time ~ Energy so pure it lasts forever ~

Sitting ~ awake ~ unsettled...she gazes into the deep white of the moom ~

Secretly asking for an answer ~ a pathway ~

Lost ~ alone within her sorrow ~

She breaths in the cool night air ~

Seeking a new breath ~ leaves of confusion tumble upon her feet making it difficult to move ~ to breath ~

Gasping for simplicity she chokes on her own thoughts ~ bitter and coarse they stick in her throat ~

Where did these leaves come from? Remnants of her choices...they increase as she allows her memory to emerge ~

Overwhelmed with reality she bursts ~ throwing her arms up and reaching desperate now ~

Pleading for her moon to rise ~ to take her hands and guide them ~ up up and far away from herself ~

She cries in hope that she can find her moon ~ her savior ~ her solice ~ her power ~

Broken, she lies silent upon the cold cement waiting for the strength to face tomorrow ~

If I could reach into your soul

If I could reach into your soul ...

I would touch your heart with my spirit~

leaving a sweet glowing surge of love, compassion and caring~

Windcapped sea flows through and around me as I am submerged in the icy water~

Sometimes when I feel this ~ I panic!

Yet today I will let the chill embrace me so that I may

move through it~

Moving, drifting, floating ~~~

Forward ~ Beyond...

I can see~now ~

There is a golden warmth awaiting,

It's like a beam of sunlight just tingling atop the mountain range

A twist of wind swirls through the trees of my memory~

I have been here before!

I remember the beauty and hesitation of moving into the unknown~

My soul warms at the uncalculating place I am in ..

not gauging, pre-thinking...

Unsteady is my step as I navigate in this new terrain,

Yet the longer I remain on this course, my Vision becomes clearer

and my breath increases ~ ~ ~

Kaia Rae Teal~

Her Spirit speaks softly to mine ~

Opening my mind's eye to a world of pureness ~

Gentle whispers permeate my skin ~ my pores ~

infusing a sweet melody within my very core ~

My heart opens to her ~ longs for her and wishes for her all that is good and right ~

A new soul is she ~ yet within her youth is a deep wise and old spirit ~

Gusts of wind surround her in a magic embrace ~ holding her tightly ~

She is and always will be held ~ by forces of nature ~

for she is truly a unique spirit that has uplifted and forever altered my consciousness ~

She is my little one ~

She speaks softly into the wind,

investing her full heart,

she commits herself to trust...
Creating a truth unfit for today...

Unwarranted and undeserving,

she offers her vulnerability...

Her truth so real it is uncomfortable if one is not prepared...

No secrets.

No lies.
Just pure and simple... Truth.
How is this so difficult for some?
Soul seeking truth... honesty.... integrity!